A lot has changed in the last two years and I am happy with everything that has happened to me. But even so, I still identify with a woman with shapes. And I think I will stay in this category all my life because that is my conformation. But I would like the plus size phenomenon to increase in our country, and for women to feel good in their skin, regardless of the size of the clothes. I would like to accept normalcy, and not to promote aesthetic models that are difficult to achieve as beauty standards. Let's give up standardization and celebrate diversity in all its forms!
Please think about my proposal and I hope that the 10 tips below will be the first step towards a life in which we love each other more and enjoy everything that happens to us more.
- No more try to hide your voluptuous figure at any cost
Whether or not we have an hourglass silhouette, we still want to look thinner. We choose not to buy certain clothes because they make us look bigger, and if a picture is taken we are careful to tell the photographer to make us look as thin as possible. And when we choose the clothes we wear, they must mask the back, hips, belly, thick arms, calves, ankles or other areas that are not to our liking.
It would be simpler to identify which elements we like and try to highlight them as much as possible. I like my hips so you see me very often wearing tight dresses or skirts and tight jeans. I have big hips, that's right. But if I hide them under a bag-type cardigan, they won't look smaller and I won't look any better.
And I have to tell you that all my adolescence, in fact all my life, I wanted a flat stomach. I still want to, but I don't know if I'll ever have one. So instead of hiding my belly at all costs under many layers of clothes that have no shape, I decided to accept it. To accept that I have a belly. Many women have and few are the lucky ones, so I propose not to create standards that are so hard to reach and to get used to normalcy.
- Try, try and combine.
A very important thing that I learned in clothing counseling sessions is that you should always try on clothes and try on all sorts of combinations until you create a successful outfit. For example, I always compose all kinds of outfits in my mind, but when I try on clothes together I realize that they don't look good at all and that theory and practice don't kiss at all.
An important rule that made me look chic in many situations, even if I used some common pieces, was to compose outfits with 3 elements. That is: pants / jeans / skirt, blouse / T-shirt and cardigan / jacket. Below you have an example of an outfit composed of three elements and you can see me with about 40 kilograms more. Doesn't it look good?
And don't be afraid of accessories: jewelry, watches, hats, bags, sunglasses, etc.
- Wear clothes in which you feel comfortable and in which you can be.
One of the biggest mistakes I made in the past was choosing outfits that I didn't feel comfortable with at all. The hardest part for me was at events that required more special outfits. And I think this was because I didn't have a definite clothing style from any point of view. I didn't know what kind of cuts benefited me, what colors flattered me, and it wasn't clear what I liked. I was just trying to be Fashion.
My advice would be to try to figure out what you like, to define your style and to have clothes in your wardrobe for all occasions so that you don't have to leave the safe area under any circumstances.
- He breaks the rules with a smile on his face. Isn't that what we learn every day from the most influential fashion bloggers and stylists?
What I really want to urge you to do is let your personality transcend any rule and use fashion only as a way to express and complement yourself. Trends, style, fashion incons and clothes should not be perceived as a stressor, but as tools meant to work in your favor.
- Corpulent women (especially small ones) should not wear long dresses.
I grew up to be almost 29 years old believing this. Until I realized that a long dress can hide everything you want and can highlight exactly what you want to see. Especially if you make it to order. I always thought that if I'm small and plump (I'm only 1.60m) I won't look good in a long dress. But the truth was somewhere in the middle: I won't look good in any kind of long dress, because one made for me can benefit me.
- Wear only clothes that fit you
One mistake I used to make and I'm sure many women make is to wear and buy much bigger clothes than they need. Many believe that if it is wide hide. But it is not true. Of course, a coat that is much too tight can look unsightly, but a coat in the right size will certainly look much better than one or without any shape. So, be sure to try each piece on several steps until you find the one that fits your shoulders perfectly, beautifully outlines your waist and has the right length. Too big clothes can make you look careless or careless. I'm sure you don't want to get noticed by this!
- Accessorize every outfit
For a long time I avoided accessories for several reasons: necklaces because it would have made my chest look even bigger, the rings looked weird on my little, fat fingers, and I could find excuses for any type of accessory. But I was wrong, and these were just unfounded preconceived notions. With the right accessory you can transform any outfit from a trivial one to a sophisticated one. Or you can draw attention to an area that benefits you. My advice would be to balance each outfit with the right accessories, without exaggerating.
- He's wearing heels
I really like wearing heels, but due to the heavy weight, I haven't been able to wear them for a long time. Those extra pounds simply gave me a lot of pain so I didn't wear heels for years. And when I wore it, it was a real torment. One of the reasons I'm glad I lost weight is that I can wear heels again. It seems to me that any outfit looks more elegant, that the bottom looks more bulging and that I walk much more gracefully (this is also because I walk more carefully). I started with small heels of 4-5cm and now I can also wear heels of 10.5cm. And I feel really good doing that.
- Find a signature item.
The signature element has a lot to do with your own style. I really like my shoulders, so in my wardrobe you will find many blouses and dresses with bare shoulders. Ever since I discovered these Wonderbra bras without the straps that can support my bust, my life was much easier because I could wear the type of clothes I like without worries. So a signature item for me would be bare-shouldered clothes.
- Get inspired!
Do you use Instagram? Follow fashion bloggers and plus-size models from all over the world and get inspired by their outfits, but also by their attitude. Here are just a few examples: Ashley Graham, Iskra Lawrence, Rosie Mercado, Erin Grady, Gabi Fresh, Nicolette Manson, etc. If you want to discover more, enter my Instagram (@ ioanadumitrache.ro) and look at the people you are following.
I wanted to show you these two velvet dresses that I am absolutely in love with because they are the kind of clothes that are usually recommended to be avoided by burly people.
I love velvet and I love to highlight my thighs. I don't like my belly, but what can I do with it! And the hours in the gym are visible, but the years when I didn't take care of my diet are more visible.
The first dress is signed by a Romanian brand that I recommend with all confidence. It is Cynthia dress from Miss Gray, a brand that now also has a plus size line. From the color, to the material, the cut and how it fits me, I can say that I love everything about this dress.
The second dress is taken from a store in London unproven. It was closing time when I saw a hanger. The bare shoulders, the feminine steering wheel, the soft velvet and the intense color made me instantly fall in love with her. I took a risk and took measure 42 at first, thinking that if I'm not good now, it will be safe in a few months. I like the way my shoulders look, the way my waist is shaped, but on the other hand, my abdomen is not very flat. However, I like the big picture. I could cling to this detail and not feel well dressed like that or I could adopt the right attitude and wear the dress. Guess what I chose?
Photo credit: The Bucharests