In the period 2015-2017 I managed to lose over 40 kilograms through a lot of sports and healthy eating. I can honestly say that when I started this process that I called #MyBodyJourney (because it's a journey in the true sense of the word) I didn't think I was going to lose so much weight. I didn't even aim for that number of pounds.
I don't know what your experiences are, but over the years I've tried many times to lose weight and I've been on a lot of diets. Some were more restrictive, some lighter. I was losing a few kilograms, but as I stopped the diet immediately, the kilograms came back, and even most of the time I gained more than the weight I had started. And if I happened to "step crookedly" once, I would lose my motivation and give up my diet. I think this is one of the biggest mistakes we all make: we are harsh with ourselves and harshly criticize ourselves by telling ourselves that all efforts so far have been in vain, and then we simply give up.
I do not regret that I dedicated two years to my weight loss process and that I chose not to resort to bariatric surgery (ie to cut my stomach) because I learned some valuable things that will help me lead a much better life now. beyond. During these years I had time to develop a food education that I completely lacked. I had time to acquire and assimilate all the information that helped me completely change my lifestyle. This time they not only entered one ear and exited the other.
I don't know why, but I kept hesitating to say that I suffer from PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) which is an endocrinological condition without a cure. You do not recover from PCOS, but follow a treatment all your life to help your body function as normally as possible. One of the most common effects of PCOS is obesity. One of the effects of the treatment I follow for PCOS is that it maintains obesity. After 13 years, my parents took me to various doctors in an attempt to find out the cause of my weight gain, during which time I also arrived at Parhon (where I had an experience that made me refuse to return there ), doctors who told me that I had thyroid problems and hormonal treatments that made me fill my body with hair, I managed 11 years ago to come across a smart endocrinologist who gave me a correct diagnosis and who -he prescribed a treatment to which I reacted well and which I still follow today. His words were as follows: You need to lose at least 10% of your weight now (I weighed over 90kg, but I don't know exactly how much). If you fail through sports and diet, go hungry. I know it's not the healthiest way, but in this case you are in a vicious circle and you have to break it because the treatment I just gave you will make your work even harder. And Ioana from then on, who was a little over 20 years old, got into trouble and went hungry. I only ate one yogurt and one or two apples a day. And I felt weak, I was irascible, I didn't have energy, I couldn't sleep at night, and when I fell asleep I had the worst nightmares, but I lost 16kg in less than two months. What more could I want? I'll tell you what: more mind.
My problem, and perhaps a source of frustration for me, is that all my life I have to eat less than a normal person to maintain my constant weight. If I want to lose weight I have to eat even less and do a lot of sports. This is my body, that's how it works and I have to live in it from now on. It is something that cannot be influenced by lifestyle or medical treatments. I can only keep the situation under control, which I do.
Those pounds lost through starvation did not return immediately because I was still careful not to eat anything. But after about a year I had already returned to over 90kg. In college I somehow kept under 100 kilograms, but since 2013 I simply exploded. I didn't care at all about food, and I didn't do sports at all. I had such a bad relationship with food that I saw food as a reward. We all look for pleasure in food and there is nothing wrong with that, but it seems like food has become one of my greatest pleasures. On the other hand, I felt ashamed, and I almost never ate in public. There was a voice in my head telling me that people who saw me would think I didn't deserve to eat. That I already look like I've eaten enough. Now I realize how critical I could be of myself.
At the beginning of 2015 I had a difficult back crisis that was one of the worst, most vulnerable and hardest moments of my life. That's how I found out I had a herniated disc and I needed surgery. The neurosurgeon told me that I should have surgery, but that he recommended that I recover and lose weight. In short, let's postpone the operation as long as we can.
I am glad that I managed to overcome this moment, to return to a normal social life, to be present online online, to get dressed, to dress nicely, to participate in events, and especially that I chose not to hate myself .
I don't know why I never hated myself. Maybe because I was surrounded by love, appreciation and gentle and wonderful people. Another survival mechanism of my adolescence, of the faculty and of the period in which I worked in the field of beauty and fashion in a Romania where it is better to be a whore than to be fat, I think it was the fact that I took care of myself. I put on my make-up, I did my hair, I dressed as beautiful and colorful as I could, I spent my time doing what I was passionate about (make-up, writing, walking) and the people I worked with showed me appreciation. I was not stupid, nor superficial, so people with an open mind could not help but appreciate my qualities beyond the fact that in terms of physical appearance I did not fit into the standards accepted by society as natural and normal.
But physically I wasn't feeling well. Back then I didn't know it wasn't normal to have your knees hurt, to feel like you're running out of air if you go up two flights of stairs, that bending over to put on your shoes doesn't have to be a demanding activity, and that running away from any physical activity is not a normal reaction. I thought that was normal and that all people have the same experience as me.
I was lying without realizing it when I told myself that Whoever likes me, likes me the way I am! to have a justification for the complacent situation I was in and from which I did not want or did not know how to get out. I don't argue or criticize myself for the mentality I had then. That's all I knew how to do to survive. It was simply a survival mechanism that I developed to get through that period. And believe me, I have developed many such mechanisms throughout my life, and I am proud to have done so well on my own. Maybe if I had the guidance of a therapist, things would have been different, but on my own, that's all I could do at the time, and I think I did well.
After many failed attempts to lose weight (except for the starving episode of 2009) I had kind of lost hope that I would ever succeed. But now I was somehow forced because of spinal problems. It was not only my health at stake, but also my human dignity because being immobilized in bed and needing help to move from left to right is not an experience I will ever want to relive.
So, I was right, but I didn't know how to do it. And I didn't even have the motivation. Because having reasons is not the same as having motivation. We all have reasons, but how many of us feel and are motivated to act?
I didn't know how to lose weight. But when you really want something and you plant the seed of a desire or an intention, the universe helps you. It was the end of May 2015. I had started to walk more, not to drink juices, not to eat fried foods and sweets, and that's how I managed to lose 3kg on my own in two weeks. Because I chose to take on this experience publicly and document on my blog the journey of my weight loss process (find all the articles in the section #MyBodyJourney), a friend introduced me to Iulian Dinu.
Iulian Dinu is not a simple personal trainer because in addition to specializing in physical therapy and motor skills (ie exactly what I needed for back problems), he has another gift: to motivate people and structure sets of exercises that really have an effect .
If you imagine that a 120kg man (even one who has no health problems at all) can do any type of training, you are sorely mistaken. Training should be tailored to each person taking into account their health, physical condition, emotional state and lifestyle. I didn't know all that either. I learned them by experiencing them on my own skin.
On June 18, 2015, I did my first training. Workout that started with a warm-up that lasted over 20 minutes. After almost 20 minutes I asked if we had much left and he told me we were barely warming up. In total, my first training did not last more than 40 minutes, but I felt it was very demanding, even if in reality it was not so.
Did I know at the time that after that training, sport would be a constant in my life? I had no idea how much I would be able to lose weight and how much I would change.
In March 2016 I ran for the first time, and in July-August 2016 I was already going out with Iulian on the Lia Manoliu track and I was running outside for 4-5km.
Looking back, I realize how much this man has helped me improve. He was more than a coach to me, he behaved like a real teammate, he offered me psychological and emotional support and he always made me believe that I can do more and more. It made me feel comfortable to weigh myself in front of him, to never lie to him, not even when I was eating what I shouldn't have. I mean, it created an environment for me to feel safe. And not just me because I was a special person, but he was equally involved with all his clients, and they all had spectacular results.
With small steps I transformed from a sedentary man into a person who did sports almost every day, sometimes even twice a day. I was so involved and dedicated that I didn't realize when two years had flown by. And now there are a few days and it is 5 years since I completely changed my lifestyle. I've lost a lot of weight, and I haven't taken it back yet. I have had fluctuations due to PCOS and the fact that I no longer have the motivation to be in calorie deficit all the time, but pulling the line I lose many kilograms, I have a more active lifestyle, a healthy and balanced diet, and the state My overall health has improved. Look, 5 years have passed and I still haven't had surgery on my spine, moreover, I learned to snowboard at almost 30 years old.
I know that I had a period in 2015-2017 when I had a mindset that I consider exceptional. I know he devoted a lot of time and energy to the weight loss process. At that time I had a little more availability than I have now, but if I did it once, I want to do it now. I want to lose another 15-20kg which I know for sure will be hard for me to lose later. Kilograms that I know for sure I don't want to carry with me after the age of 40. So I decided to act now.
I've been sitting for a few weeks and I'm wondering: how do i find my motivation? THAT MOTIVATION. The motivation that helped me say no to waste on going out with friends, which kept me away for months from any drop of alcohol, which got me out of bed every day in the morning at 5:45 in the winter when it was -2 ° Celsius outside for going to sports, the motivation that made me make #MyBodyJourney my number one priority.
The first step was to go back to what I know worked for me: training with Iulian Dinu. The second step is to show up for these workouts and do them as required. And sometimes I find it hard. But not hard physically, hard to fight my mind asking me to stop and relax. Today I ran the first 4.5 km after many months of break. Do you know how many times my mind told me to stop? Too many to count. I don't know how I will reach that motivation again, but I know that I will present myself at every training session and I will do everything I can to complete it as required. So far, Iulian's methods have worked, and my instinct tells me to trust him, especially in these moments when I feel I can't rely on myself.
Momentary my strategy is to introduce myself and comply with the training plan. Then I focus on food. Today I entered the third week since I resumed training with Iulian. The first week went well until the weekend when I ate sushi, dessert and 3 healthy slices of pizza on Sunday night. In the second week the weekend was not so cruel, but I had a day of skidding. But for a few days I have been eating according to the plan I set out to stick to in the coming months. Maybe I'll stick 90 post-its on a mirror and for every day I eat right (especially without desserts and alcohol) I'll be allowed to peel off a post-it. I need 90 clean days. Or so I thought. Also, going to bed between 22:30 and 23:00 is a goal. Otherwise I don't have the energy for a workout that lasts at least an hour and a half.
So, I don't know how to get THAT MOTIVATION back to me, but at least I have a plan. And if I have a plan, I know what actions to take in that direction.
Good luck everyone! Including me.