Because women are influencers. Or influence. Or influence. Rarely women influencers and almost never simple, Influencer.
Since the PlushBio scandal broke out, a hunt for female influencers has begun that reminds me of the trials of witches in Salem. Are you a woman and do you like to talk about cosmetics? You are automatically a goose that is incapable of anything else, and practically for some money you automatically say that this product has rejuvenated your grandmother, by the people who see you swear that you are sisters.
The discernment of the consumer of online content is not taken into account at all. And I don't know if the public here should feel offended because the message is "be careful what you say because those who follow you buy / do like fools everything you say". And I'm sorry that it seems unreal to me that in 2020 when the information is a click away, when doctors of all specializations have channels on social networks and provide free information or answer specific questions, when there are applications that check the list of INCI ingredients of a product and I tell you if it is well formulated or not, you still choose not to inform yourself. Well then it's just your mistake.
If no one came to take your money from your wallet and forcefully apply the cream on your face, then you did it with your own hand and you have to assume the consequences of your actions.
I'm not defending the PlushBio brand. On the contrary, we refused such collaboration for the simple reason that the INCI ingredient lists were not public on the manufacturer's website from the beginning. Personally, paid or unpaid, I did not want to test them. However, I think it is very important to discuss consumer responsibility.
Let's splash them a little, that's all we can do
Since the outbreak of this scandal, it seems that all the people on the Internet who had the disease, the women creators of photo and video content (especially on Instagram), have gathered, gathered them all in one basket, and take out one every day. in front of her perpelate a little. I say to persuade her, because none of those targeted actually suffered too much. Basically, it was kind of let's splash them a little, that's all we can do, but at least we can cool down.
I understand the frustrations of senior bloggers (myself having this blog since 2011 I had the opportunity to go through several trends), especially men, because I can not keep up with the requirements of today to create visual content as dynamic and attractive . But is this a good enough reason to criticize the (different, right) work of others? Especially because they are women and because they are attractive?
I understand that you can't create video or photo content because: you're not photogenic or telegenic, you're not attractive, you don't like to expose yourself, you don't know how to edit photo / video or your talent is just writing. But to criticize another to put yourself in a favorable light seems to me something like the fox that does not reach the grapes and says they are sour.
But here's how these people who have nothing to do with the beauty field suddenly become specialists and put us all in the same pot.
If you are a woman, you are a nice idea in pictures (that the applications help you, not the other way around), you have a community on any online platform and you discuss interesting things for women, you are automatically fascist or beauty influencer. Or both. Kind of 2 in 1 to make it easier for them to type when the gossip starts.
We are all from the same dough, water and earth, some finishes that talk about nothing, and about everything if we are paid.
I'm not saying there aren't such people. Of course they exist, but they are not a majority and in no way justify this mixture.
I feel slightly offended. Offended because these people who do not know my work and expertise at all give their opinion in a field in which I am the specialist and in which I have been educating for years. But I don't feel very offended because their opinion doesn't matter to me. Basically, they have no idea what they're talking about. Or I just don't have to react because I don't feel completely targeted. I feel partially targeted because I am also a woman, I work online and I talk about beauty and fashion. But the "accusations" brought have nothing to do with my work.
3-4 years ago I was publicly offended by an old blogger and his friend, another well-known blogger, on the grounds that I am fat and ugly. And if I'm fat I can't be a beauty blogger. I couldn't talk about beauty when I did. "I looked like that”. Practically, all my studies and expertise did not count, they were canceled by the fact that I was fat. And if I'm fat, I'm not able to hold a makeup brush in my hand (btw, I'm painting as a child, so we're talking about a native talent here), I'm not able to take some courses or assimilate some information. Those idiots at the University of the Arts London let me study with them and gave me a degree. More cattle than those from international brands who chose to collaborate with me even when I weighed 120kg. Does it matter that I don't talk about skin care without studying before and without the support of dermatologists? Does it matter that with each published material I educate the public little by little in a certain direction?
Do you think anyone was interested in taking self-makeup classes (because I like to translate makeup into plain language for anyone who is interested, because yes I also had men in the class) or skin care with a dermatologist to teach women in my community how and why to care for their skin? Of course not. We are all water and land. In the same pot of their frustrations with us!
Whatever you do, you are not good enough
That episode marked me. I, who all my life have been exposed to humiliating situations regarding my weight, look that even in adulthood my weight is a problem for others.
And do you know what was more painful? Do you know what made me feel the most wronged? That at that time I had lost a lot of effort about 30kg through sports and a balanced diet. And not only that. I have publicly documented here on the blog the whole process of losing weight with good and bad parts. So all the joy of my result was overshadowed by the message that I am not good enough and I will not be until I am weak. In Romania, whatever you are, not just fat. It's better and easier to be stupid than to be fat. And yes, I said it on purpose fat, because we like double standards and fat men are ok. They can even criticize fat women, as I did.
That incites rape and you sit with your hands on your chest
Today's article was born after I read it This article and related comments on social media.
Wow, Radule, do you take it for granted that they did not "defend" themselves publicly and that they did not take a stand in the scandal with Alexandru Bălan? Well, first of all, there were many reactions. Too bad, you just didn't want to see them. Because I wouldn't want to suggest that you did a documentary on your knees. This is clear from your text.
Women talk about abuse constantly. EVERYWHERE. Maybe more often in private. It is not easy to expose your traumatic experience in public. To use this opportunity to humiliate women influencers a little seems degrading to me. Because you nullify the efforts of all women who have constantly done something in this direction, and because you show that the goal excuses the means.
On top of that, just last night full of emotions of all kinds gathered lately because of all that happened (pandemic, the situation with racism in the USA, the scandal with Alexandru Bălan, etc.) I was thinking what my reaction should be for my community. And all I could tell the over 79K followers on Instagram where 80% are women, was that assimilating these events is a personal process and that more important than posting something online is to behave gently and kindly to those around.
And regarding the video that instigates rape, I even told them that I find it redundant to send a message to a female audience that "NO means NO". If I had a predominantly male audience, it was another matter. But how do I shout at women to take action? Do you think this is still needed? How do I urge them to retaliate when I have sexually abused women and friends on my list who have not been able to talk about it for years? How do you tell an abused woman that she had to fight back when she had no chance? Do you know how an abused person feels? Guilt. She simply feels that this misfortune happened to her. Well, do you think all he needs to hear is that he had to fight back? Where is the empathy?
Today I had to take part in a shoot where I was going to put on one of my pursuers. She wanted to give as a gift for 35 years a photo session with Miruna Minculescu (the one who took those beautiful photos of me even when I was 120kg) and to be made up by me. And just before the scheduled time, he called me crying that he couldn't come because he was divorcing. And in a heartbreaking voice he said to me, "Ioana, she wanted to beat me! ”.
Putting statuses on the internet is not enough. You also need to connect to real life. Act in real life! Be empathetic and meet the needs of victims. And if men don't feel right about it, let us women help other women.
But let them educate. Let them take action. Tell me, Radule, it wasn't better if instead of writing this filthy article in which you say that women influencers either don't remember them, or don't care, or they don't want to ruin their image, you said better “MGuys, let's change our speech a little online and offline. Let's educate our sons to respect and defend women (and not only)!”?
How many mothers have you seen / heard tell their children that they must be mean to other children? How many teenage boy mothers have you heard say, “Go and burn that! And if they don't give up, you insist that these are the girls, they like to be abrupt ”?! But how many men have you heard say "Mom, if I catch her then see what I give her!"? My ears have heard a lot, and I really don't frequent dubious environments.
For example, at the Coca Cola Next big vlogger gala in 2017, Zoso.ro came to me to introduce myself and said the following words (which I will never forget because they marked me): “Hello, Ioana ! I'm Vali. You got a blowjob from me last year in vain. I really like you. " It was about the above incident in which I was accused of not being a beauty blogger because I'm fat and I look like that, and Vali jumped in defense of his friend. He humiliated me publicly and apologized in private.
But do you know what happened then? Many women jumped in my defense.
Probably for this reason, Radu expects us to defend ourselves. Because women take action. ALWAYS.
I don't mean that men are passive. Things have changed since then and now, and I'm really against generalizations.
But if you really want to do something, don't tell me to yell at the women in my community to take action and retaliate when they need comfort and consolation, tell the men in your community how they should be. to wear.
PS: I proudly wear the title of influencer and I did not own it until the people of Iqads so in 2016. I know that I have influenced many people to make good changes in their lives and I intend to continue to do so. Just yesterday I convinced some people to donate blood for a person in great need. I like to be recognized as an influencer and I fully assume this title.
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15 comments
This hits home… I don't know what bubbles these bloggers are spinning, on me on instagram, all the women who have a smaller or larger community have talked about this topic. As a victim, I was not believed or blamed. Now I hear and see, from various men online, with INFLUENCE, that it is also our fault that we do not educate. Besides the trauma you have to process, besides the fear of walking on the street in some cases, besides the dozens of calculations we have to do every day with the thought that we might come across a beast that to aggress us, we must also educate them, those with privilege. No, boys, that's none of our business! Educate yourselves and your kids!
I'm glad Ioana that you exist as an influencer, because you and the rest of those I follow make me believe that I'm not the only "crazy" who is trying to change something…
I am tired of Romanian men…
Besides being touched, whistled, offended and more and more… almost every time I have a discussion with a male specimen tb to end up being fat… what does it have… I have no idea…
And unfortunately not only men do this… abuse is tolerated and encouraged by other women who think that some deserve it… to be cursed, to be emotionally abused and even beaten… like no, because some deserve it…
Dap… crazy Romanian mentality in the head… and unfortunately it will not be too soon a society without abuses against women… abuses are not.are punished… clearly ..
Unfortunately, our influencers had no attitude. I haven't seen ig at least And this with "I have a community only of women" is not an excuse. We need to talk about this in order to increase the popularity of the subject and encourage the victims to speak as well. To make an analogy- and the people of color on ig have mostly followers all of color and I have not seen one to be silent! But that's how it is with us… Everyone does their job so as not to lose their followers. I don't know how, but almost everyone who shared this article is still influenced or wanna be influenced. But it's ok. You have the right not to take any responsibility and not to take action in the face of injustice, it's your right. If you have these platforms just to talk about makeup and dresses that's it, that's all it could be. I don't understand how you can talk about such superficial topics when so much mess happens.
Dear Alexandru Cristina,
I don't know who you are following on Instagram, but women in all fields have talked about abuse now, but also in the past. And I do it constantly. That's all I wanted to say in this article.
The fact that people like you come and say that women are silent and do not assume anything in public does not cancel out the fact that they do.
If the subject of the article is a mess, then I think that the problem is not with us and that we are not the superficial ones.
We have our minds open and comprehensive enough to talk about dresses, racism, and abuse. And I'm PROUD of that!
A good day!
Exact!!!!! Very well said! It couldn't be better! There is so much mess going on and we talk so superficially!
What does it mean for you not to talk superficially?
not only men are aggressive. And women, by tolerating this, have their share of blame, aggravating the situation. These aggressive men come from families where aggression was normal, where their mother received slaps and harsh remarks and further hit the child. Where do you reply like "you also give 2", "stinking gypsy, she deserves it" etc. I'm normal.
And we are to blame, when, indirectly, we see a woman hit / child hit and we are silent. That hit child will probably hit our girls in 20 years.
Aggression is not innate. It is learned. It's contagious. I see it as whole nations do not have it, and some Romanians consider it normal. Some Romanians and some Muslims.
Somehow I felt that you were referring to c.ro and z.ro since I read the first lines of your experience with those who told you that you can not work in the field of beauty because of your weight. Indeed, it is very true what you said, that in Romania all you can be worse is to be fat.
I also had weight problems and was bullied by everyone, from friends in front of the block, schoolmates, my friend to my mother, and if someone wakes up to start a campaign to educate others not to it is THEIR job to judge others by the number of kilograms, it immediately jumps to them that they are promoting an unhealthy and medically risky lifestyle. But to criticize and make those around you feel small, small, small because of something that doesn't affect you at all (because in the end it's their weight, it's their joints and their health, which should they care) is not unhealthy ???
And regarding the abuses… I also had a discussion which, regarding Alex Balan, said not to catch fire, that it is just AN OPINION ON THE INTERNET. That's right, it seems very easy for men not to be affected by the so-called "opinions". It's probably easy to get cold when you've never been physically or verbally harassed on the street by strangers. Men in Romania still think that we should feel SPECIAL when they are lustful on the street and whistle at us or tell us various nicknames.
A TREND should be born in which men online should urge other boys, men to behave better than women, without peasantry and libido. I think the internet is full of women's campaigns.
This comment is longer than intended, but I was on fire. I hug you, Ioana, I appreciate everything you did and what you do!
The more beautiful the article, the harder it is to digest what is happening in the world now. Whether we are talking about discrimination, racism, or other forms, they are all meant to spread hatred and incite more harm.
We don't want that. When I say "we" I mean all the people on Earth. I want to believe, in the innocence of my soul, that in essence we are positive beings and that only from time to time we ask for a drop of attention that can be easily controlled and directed to other causes.
I'm glad to read this article early in the morning. Although it falls hard on the stomach of any person where we end up with all the "crises" that have appeared recently, but felt by an infinity, I strongly believe that Ioana manages to summarize beautifully her vision felt by other women.
It's a heavy luggage that we carry in the back, and only together does the weight feel less.
We are all together. Women, men. Young people, adults. White or black. Why does it matter? Why so bad?
Breathe in / out and keep going - they say. But let me fill the gaps - with more power, strength, and alliance - less judgment.
Congratulations on the article! Even if we need positivism and happy thoughts, I believe that we also need such realities to get us out of our comfort zone where we end up forgiving those who make mistakes.
I did this too many times, and I ended up adding "but he's a good boy".
You are perfectly right! Men online, instead of looking for a knot in the rush, should educate their community about respect. And we women should learn what respect means, because it seems we don't know or have forgotten.
When I first came to England, the first thing that marked me and made me want to move here was the respect and that "thank you" that I haven't heard in Romania for a long time.
We forgot to respect ourselves as people, to be kind… we put labels that if we stop to think are unjustified, because we are all human!
I wasn't a fat woman, but people made me feel that way, just because we weigh 10kg more than the "perfect weight". Does it matter that I'm talented? Or what did I know to do? No, it mattered more how I looked and that always made me doubt myself and my qualities. And it's not right, it's not right, for someone who doesn't really know me to label me. That's why I admire you and thank you for being strong and show what it really means to use your voice, that's what I'll do! I will not let the "others" call me what they want, because I know what I can and I really want to start the change with me.
As for the vlogger who instigates rape, it seems fair to me to pay for what he said and the apologies in the recent video are useless especially when you say "it was a joke". Really ?! For whom?
So, something like that deserves all the respect !!! There is no point in going into the subject of Alexandru Balan because these things have been happening for a very long time. Just think that women are blamed because they want equal rights with men…. they are physically and verbally assaulted from any point of view for minor reasons. It doesn't matter how a woman dresses, it doesn't matter what she transmits on social networks, in everyday life it matters that she agrees with the proposals made !!!
I'm sorry to say, but that the public figure must assume what you say, what you promote, no matter what sex you have. Given that there is no educated audience that interprets anything and anytime, it is your responsibility and you must take precautions. Ideally, you would say that people should be informed but they do not. He prefers everything ready. They are more comfortable. Look, I'll give you an example. You know how they appeared on the coffee cups, the writing “Attention! Is it a hot product? ” appeared as a result of a consumer who sued a company because he roasted his tongue when he took a mouthful of coffee and it was the brand's fault that he did not write somewhere on the glass that it is cold, although it is in the mind of the rooster . Or the brands of detergents, creams, etc. that make anti-child caps because there have been cases like this, although it was clearly written not to be kept out of reach of children, they were guilty of not making the products unopened by children. On the women's side ... again, unfortunately, I'm sorry that the woman is considered inferior to the man in any way. I am sorry that many do not open their eyes and do not educate or educate themselves on how they should behave with a woman whether she agrees with her or not.
This Radu is nothing better or above that Alexander… he did about the same thing… to meet the woman of the earth… on any occasion and in any circumstance! Shame on them
Either!
When I read the first lines I automatically thought of Zoso, I don't even know or want the other one. It's very easy to throw words, I could say a lot about Z, but I refrain. What is certain is that better than that "man" is better missing. I have also noticed this unwarranted hunt by women influencers since the PB scandal. Lately, "Mr." Zoso is splashing the women in question on his blog and even on YT. What I deduce from this is just a cry of despair: I want traffic, I want traffic. It's embarrassing and pitiful! You have to take a stand, "dear men" wannabe journalists, YOU, not us!
You're superb! I follow you with great pleasure, and you are absolutely right! Congratulations on the article. Kiss you